Thank you

Since the day Henry was born, we have had such an outpour of love and support. COVID kept family out of the hospital during his birth and away in general because of the unknown of this virus. Then we find out our son had some serious issues and only one parent can be in the NICU. Let me just say that postpartum help is non existent. I know the baby is what is most important, but the second they are born, the mom's don't matter anymore and that is a hard journey to be on. As a first time mom, hormones all over the place, having to be alone, not knowing anything, having to make decisions and hear things that are terrifying, it blows my mind looking back that no-one really had any concern for how I was handling the news. 

How I was healing, the fear, the anxiety, the questions. I had doctors telling me everyday that something was wrong with my son in such a 'chill' fashion that as I remember it, I don't know how I survived it without breaking down every single day. 

But our friends and family sent so much love and support. They were there for us from afar, sending meals, gift cards, checking in, taking me to the hospital or picking me up when Henry was in the NICU. 

To every single person who has thought about us, prayed for us, reached out, sent things, let me cry, hugged us, loved us...Thank you isn't enough, but it's what I have right now. I wish I could hug every single one of you who have reached out, sent love, or just been there. We never needed advice or action, we needed love and just being and that's exactly what we've gotten. Everyone around us is giving us virtual hugs and it's incredible to know. 

From the beginning family and friends were right there for us. Cheering us on, crying with us, praying for us, all the things. While I was transparent in Henry's obstacles, I never really shared more than the surface and not often. Social Media is a snapshot and usually a happy one. So posts are smiles and happy things. 

Sharing the not so happy and fun of our journey is a little scary, but necessary. It's ok to not be ok with what's going on. It does not mean I don't love my son with every fiber of my being. It doesn't mean I don't want him. Do I wish he was a happier, healthier baby, absolutely! But I wish that for him not me. I want him to experience the world like a 'normal' kid. I want him to enjoy every moment, learn to be independent, smile, laugh and all the things for him. I just want to give him those opportunities. He deserves that. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm back! Did you miss me?

Image
  HI! It's me! We are all still alive and well!  I cannot believe it has been almost 3 years since I've posted!! Wow! Life really gets going and it does not stop. Hard to get back into the routine of writing and sometimes I get in ruts and it's hard to get down what I want to say. And a lot of the time it feels like groundhog day around here! SO, let me catch you up quickly on the last few years! 2022 was the only year Henry was not  in the hospital and had no major procedures! #winning  One year out of 5 ain't bad, right?? 😑 Let's get into it, shall we?  Henry is growing like crazy! He has his mamma's long legs and his hair; everyone is envious of! We can't go anywhere without someone commenting on his amazing hair! The best update is that we found a full-time nanny!! She's absolutely amazing and we are so incredibly lucky to have her. Henry loves her and we love her too!! Seriously, she's the best. I am never letting her leave! She helps with ever...
Read more

Corrective Foot Surgery

Image
I got you all caught up on Henry's medical journey over the last few years since my last post and there is more this past year! Shocker, right??  Overall, Henry's been amazing the last couple of years. He's more content, he's interacting, he's laughing, smiling, reaching, exploring and just happier! He LOVES to just chill in his bed and listen to music, movies, or talk with his angels, who I'm pretty sure tell him jokes to make him laugh all the time!  I mentioned before that we had a doctor that was going to do Henry's foot surgery, but a less invasive procedure and then it got cancelled two days before. I've said it was a God thing and while I was extremely nervous about him having such a major surgery, I knew he needed it to have a chance at standing or using adaptive equipment to move around.  For reference, this is how his feet used to look. Completely turned in with some stretch, but very difficult to get into a 'regular' position to even g...
Read more

Faith and Unknowns

Image
It’s been a minute since I’ve posted or given any real update. Y'all, some days it is pure survival mode. And we are trying to find in-home care for Henry, on top of therapies, appts, jobs, other kids. Life! Lol I’m spent.  Getting through the unknowns of Henry is such a struggle. It's taken a long time to know what makes him smile and even still, it doesn't always work. It's taken me months to begin to understand his cries and what they mean. It is his only way of communication still. There are no words, no pointing, no grabbing, no showing, no nothing. It's literally like having a newborn still. I say it often because it is the easiest way to describe Henry.  He cannot communicate, he cannot hold his head up, he can't even see well enough or at all, to look or point at something. You'll hear most moms say they wish that newborn stage could last forever and while that time is amazing and special and the snugs are legit and you're just in this euphoria.....
Read more